Resolutions And Goals
It’s a new year, which means many of us have been or are thinking about changes in our lives: cutting out old habits, eating healthier, exercising, new hobbies, new jobs, new opportunities. I know I’ve been thinking about the changes I can make in my own life.
There’s the common trope that, following the indulgence of the holiday season, people make a new year’s resolution to start exercising in January… only to let that resolution die out by the end of February. The gym membership is canceled or wasted, the new treadmill sits idly collecting dust in a neglected corner of the garage or basement. And then the following new year it’s the same song and dance.
This pattern is not limited to exercise. Maybe it’s reading, or cutting back on sweets, or picking up a new hobby, or something else entirely. I’ve gone through this cycle in the past with the same fizzled-out results in a matter of months, which is why I’m cynical of resolutions.
They don’t work.
Resolutions aren’t meant to last. The way I see it, resolutions are an idealistic wish for an improvement in our life - a chase that we convince ourselves we can cut to without putting in dedicated effort. A short-term desire without a plan.
But what if we changed our way of thinking, our way of approaching the resolutions we want to accomplish? Because I’m not cynical about wanting to accomplish the resolution - only about how we arrive at that point. How do we set out to meet our resolution longer than two months?
Consider an infant child. We want them one day to be able to walk and even run. How do they reach that ability? The infant certainly doesn’t just spring up from their belly and run a marathon. No, first they learn to roll over. Then they crawl. Then they pull themselves up. And then they walk like a newborn fawn. And then they learn to stay balanced. And then they learn to run. This growth typically doesn’t happen in less than two months. It takes many months (or years, in some cases) for an infant to gain the ability to walk.
How do we set out to maintain our desired changes in the long-term? Through setting goals and, more importantly, creating an action plan to achieve our goals.
In character writing, there are a few Big Questions that are used to create the drive behind the character:
What do they want?
How will they achieve it?
What might be an obstacle?
How will they adapt?
I think these questions are more than fitting for this subject. If we take a little bit of time to both ask and answer these for ourselves, then we will have a solid foundation to the story of our own unique year.
A long-term goal without a plan becomes a resolution and will likely fade out of your life, so it’s critical to have both a “why” and an action plan if we’re serious about achieving our goals.
Not only that, but it’s as important to set micro-goals or milestones. If you haven’t set foot in a gym for a decade but you went for 30 minutes today? Celebrate that! If you haven’t journaled in three months but today you wrote a few sentences? Celebrate that! If you have been eating unhealthy foods for the past three weeks but today you chose the chicken salad over the double bacon burger? Celebrate that! It’s the little victories that build us up to reach the goals we set for ourselves.
Let’s go back to the exercise example. Instead of just joining a gym or buying a treadmill, think about the reason why you want to exercise. Maybe you want to lose weight, or build muscle, or tone your body, or build up stamina. This is what you want, but… how will you achieve it? This is when you define your exercise routine: the frequency of exercising, what types of exercises you do (lifting weights vs cardio vs endurance). It’s important, too, to consider what might get in your way, such as lack of motivation, being ill, scheduling issues, or maybe something else. Additionally, outlining ways to adapt to these obstacles will help to maintain momentum. You might not feel motivated, but you’ve built a habit of going twice each week and today is the day; you’re under the weather today, so you’ll go an extra day next week; something personal came up, so you’ll go tomorrow instead. Now, instead of just going to the gym aimlessly, you have a goal of working out consistently with specific achievements in mind, smaller steps outlined to sustain the goal, and alternative plans for when life happens.
Recently, a friend shared with me the difference between a checklist and a bingo card. With a checklist, the tasks can feel like an order of operations - they must be completed in a specific sequence and often within a specified time: do Task A by today, Task B by tomorrow, and only then can Task C be accomplished by the end of the week.
But with a bingo card, it doesn’t matter when or what order the smaller pieces are completed. All that matters is that you complete them and, in the end, you’ll have your own bingo.
